June 9, 2010
Is Squirrel Real Cause Of Power Outage???
Once again, a poor, innocent rodent is accused of power outages throughout the Shamokin and Coal Township area.
Can one small (although beady-eyed) squirrel cause that much damage to two ENTIRE towns? This author thinks NOT (but this is only the opinion of Shamokin.biz and does not reflect any legal rights or law enforcement findings).
Let us hypothetically say that the author has attended many, MANY mountain parties in the past (okay, so THAT’S not hypothetical,) but that said author has witnessed many a strange thing. This may have included (now THIS is where the “hypothetical” comes to play) certain persons discharging guns, perhaps shooting various transformers which would have affected our local towns’ electrical supplies.
Now, if seeing just ONE transformer blown, by gun blast, and knowing that it only affected a PORTION of one of our towns, how are we expected to believe that ONE little squirrel could cause power outages for TWO towns?
I admit, squirrels freak me the f#@k out, but I cannot rightly blame one without viable proof. Knowing and seeing what I have in the past, it seems almost impossible to me that a disgusting, sneaky rodent (yet SOMEHOW cute, if you don’t look into their red, evil eyes) could have done this two-town electrical down time.
So what do you think the REAL cause could be?
I’m not buying this story–DAMN YOU ANYWAY, YOU CUTE YET FREAKY-LOOKING SQUIRRELS!
Tell us what you think! Please leave a comment below. We LOVE comments!
Written by: A.K.A.
Filed Under: Coal Dirt, Featured, The Funny
Tags: beady eyed creatures, shamokin power outage, squirrels cause power outages
Trackback URL: http://shamokin.biz/squirrel-real-cause-of-power-outage/trackback/
jjspook
June 10, 2010 at 10:55 am
I’ll be the first to admit that I like a good conspiracy theory, and the prospect of blaming this incident on Bush, Global Warming, or Nazi Vegan Midgets is titillating and would no doubt provide hours upon hours of playing connect the conspiracy dots all the while sporting my favorite tinfoil hat.
But sometimes you have to call a squirrel a squirrel.
These bushy-tailed bringers of doom are evil incarnate who would just as easily nawl your face of as look at you. Their maniacal chattering and their nimbly-pimbly scurrying about are all a clever rouse to make us think they are foraging for nuts and such. But, the dark truth is that they are always planning and forever conspiring against us in a quest for their common goal. A New Squirrel Order!
They, along with their little chipmunk minions, can be linked to all of the major disasters that have plagued the world in recent years. The oil spill, economic collapse, Katrina, 911, and yes even the Shamokin power outages can all be attributed to these furry little tree demons.
They cannot be trusted my friends, and should be avoided at all costs.