January 11, 2010
Wal-Mart & Pajamas Go Together Like PB & J
So much has already been written on this subject, mostly by our evil corporate rival The News-Item in their Sound Off column, commented on by folks all over the region and moderated by that guy named Frog.
But I had yet to witness this spectacle in all its glory—people proudly wearing their PJs to Wal-Mart—en masse. I’m talking about every other person should have had his or her pillow and teddy bear with them.
Crazy, crazy shit.
Some long-legged preying-mantis-looking guy was wearing THE UGLIEST pajamas I have ever seen with me own two eyes.
To accurately describe them would bring back that horrible day oh, too swiftly. All I’ll say is they were The Simpsons and they were the fugliest bluest blue with generic pictures….arrgghhh!!!
There were clowns to the left of me, jokers to my right, and there I was, stuck in the middle with my middle-class jeans and Doc Martens.
For the record (and for what it’s worth), I don’t even wear pyjamas (yes, that’s the British way to spell it. Hmmphhh.)
I had seen enough. I needed to exit the parking lot stage right away. And my Dad was dilly dallying at this crucial moment over something ridiculous like going back into the store for his wallet or some shit.
Anyway, we finally pull outta there in a trail of smoke and squealing tires and I DO NOT look back.
Some things I’d just rather not know about,
read about,
see,
hear,
taste,
smell,
touch,
eat or
smoke.
Tell us what you think! Please leave a comment below. We LOVE comments!
Written by: William S.
Filed Under: Damn Good Advice, Featured
Tags: shopping at wal-mart in shamokin, walmart pajamas, wearing pajamas at wal-mart
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jjspook
January 12, 2010 at 2:29 pm
I could spend years in therapy due to the sights I’ve seen at the Coal Township Wal-Mart. I mean really, do these people own mirrors?
William S.
January 12, 2010 at 5:22 pm
Mirrors are probably the least-sold item in Wal-Mart, Spook.
Now don’t get me wrong: I’ve seen some really hot girls at that store, too. But those trips are few. It’s usually a whole flock of fatties.
And yeah, I don’t go in there wearing my Sunday best. But I usually try not to look like I walked out of a comic book, like some of these folks.
Video footage is coming!!
Bill
KG
January 13, 2010 at 1:26 pm
If you could get video footage of “Nature Boy” shopping at Wal-mart in his strategically modified under-roos, I would be mighty impressed.
William S.
January 13, 2010 at 8:58 pm
KG,
If I’m not mistaken, I believe our beloved Nature Boy has passed and moved on to a better world where everyone where’s clothes like Freddy Mercury.
But I could be wrong. That happens a lot.
But I WILL have video footage of Wal-Mart craziness soon. Check back and thanks for reading.
Bill
KG
January 14, 2010 at 10:34 am
I wonder if he died from hypothermia. Regardless, belated thoughts and prayers out to Nature Boy’s family and friends.
jjspook
January 14, 2010 at 10:09 am
You are correct Bill, Nature Boy is no longer with us. It’s sad, because I think he would have fit right in to the Wal-Mart craziness. In fact, they would have made him their king.
A.K.A.
January 15, 2010 at 12:22 am
Okay, to prove ALL of our points, check out this site: http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/
If you do not at least wet yourself a little bit, then you DO NOT get the joke and probably need to get out of your PJ’s and into some real clothes!
A.K.A.
January 15, 2010 at 12:38 am
If I believe correctly, your “Nature Boy” is my & my friends’ “Mr. Wonder.” He wore white hot-pants in the fall & winter and leather bikini bottoms in the spring & summer (with what appeared to be a holster, but who knows?).
I can never forget the image of him in my youth (let’s say early to mid-80′s) strolling along Market Street just minding his own business and never bothering a soul.
I have also heard just recently that he had died within the past few years AND was ALSO told his correct name, which I FORGET!!! This poor man needs to be recognized! I say — if anyone else knows his real name to speak out!!! We need to let the rest of the world, or at least our coal region area, remember this man and what he stood for, WHATEVER it may have been (no one knows…spooky.)
What I’m getting at is Pete Dorito was a legend in our town (especially at our downtown Wendy’s) and we knew all about him but Mr. Wonder needs his own notoriety!
Who’s with me????
lily
February 19, 2011 at 4:52 pm
The guy was from BVA, his old school name was Ralphie Hotpants. He used to sunbathe nude on his roof back in the day according to legend. My dad called him Hubler prounounced Hoobler. Don’t forget the all important knife and the fact his asscheeks were fully visible to anyone who happened to stroll in back of him down Independence Street. Lots of urband legends like the hypothermia and that he cut his member off with knife, etc. – still searching for a pic of that Coal Region celebrity. Ahhhh, the good old days.
lily
February 19, 2011 at 4:53 pm
sorry, I meant to say “urban”. I was a bit disoriented thinking about that bod and awesome tan. No tan lines for this fellow.